


You Don't Know

by skitty98



Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: Angst, Barely any smut, Barista Taka, Guitarist Toru, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:35:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24111424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skitty98/pseuds/skitty98
Summary: Toru struggling to pursue his dreams while trying not to lose Taka on the way.
Relationships: Morita Takahiro/Yamashita Toru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

“Are you gonna come back to Japan before Christmas?” Taka asked, his eyes are threatening to shut and his head is already resting on the soft pillow.

“Maybe.” Toru replied, strumming on his guitar.

It was almost 5am in Japan, but for Toru it was only 12 in the afternoon. He felt bad for making his boyfriend stay up just so they could talk, but Taka had nothing to do, while Toru had work.

“Toruuuuuu,"

The guitarist hummed noncommittally.

“Do you think we’d last?”

 _Will they?_ To be honest, Toru doesn't know. His passion for music made it hard to let go of his job. Taka wanted him to have a normal life, a normal job so they could be together. Of course, Taka respects his decision and let him go. He had to. It was Toru’s dream to pursue music ever since he was a child and now that he’s doing it, Taka didn’t have any right to ruin it for him.

Toru barely sees Taka anymore. Their conversations get shorter as time flies. There’s nothing new to share about. Unlike last time, when their conversations were at least 1 hour long, it became minutes. Toru would only ask Taka if he had eaten dinner, then they shared silence, until the full time barista fell asleep.

That’s exactly what happened next. Taka’s soft snores echoed Toru’s quiet and empty room. Toru wished he could be there to cuddle with the smaller man, but he could only end the call with a bitter smile and send him a text saying ‘Goodnight, I love you’, for him to wake up to.

A week passed since their last call. Taka wasn’t picking up, not even one of Toru’s endless calls. It started to worry him. This never happened before. Taka used to be the one whining over how long Toru took to pick up his calls, or spam Toru’s chat. He never did any of those. What if he’s running away? Is he giving up on their relationship? How will Toru move on?  
Before he could let himself overthink, he was greeted by a low resolution video.

“Good morning, my sweetheart!” Taka grinned, waving at Toru excitedly.

How can he act like everything’s normal? Like he didn’t just disappear for a week and left Toru worrying if he got kidnapped, or hurt, or _him leaving._  
Taka could probably sense his mood as he looked down and rubbed his arms, a habit he tends to do when he’s nervous.

Toru sighed, “Why didn’t you pick up my calls?”

“I… took up more shifts-”

“Why did you? I can send you some money, Taka. I’m more than happy to help.” Toru offered. Deep inside he wanted Taka to quit his job. Toru had enough money to support both him and his boyfriend. In fact, he wanted to bring Taka along with him. It wasn’t encouraged, though. Their fans would go insane if they found out that he was already dating. Not to mention, a male.

  
Taka’s head snapped up. “I don’t want your money. You _know_ that.”

“But you’re making this harder for us!” Toru shouted, causing Taka to flinch. Taka felt his chest tightened, his usual calm boyfriend never raised his voice at him.

Before Taka could say anything, Toru interfered. “Should I quit?”

Toru didn’t even know why he said that, but he felt like it was so unfair that dropping everything for Taka was an option. If only Taka had joined their band, or if Toru had not liked music that much. They would have been happy together.

“No,” Taka protested. His right hand forcefully ran through his curly hair.

He released a deep breath before continuing, “I’ll work lesser shifts. I’m sorry for not telling you last week.”

As expected, there was silence again. Toru did not dare say a word. Afraid that he might say something he’s going to regret later if he does too quickly. Knowing Taka, he would probably think about the entire conversation and beat himself up about it. Toru didn’t want that to happen again. Not after what happened last time. When Taka had expressed his concerns about Toru’s future. Mean things came out from Toru’s mouth, things like he’s a bad boyfriend for not believing in him. The man blamed himself for not being good enough even though Toru clarified that he didn’t mean it. From then on, Toru was extra cautious with his words, thinking twice before saying something that could potentially hurt his boyfriend’s feelings.

Both of them enjoyed an hour of talking, trying to catch up despite the little time they had before Taka eventually falls asleep.

Toru waited for another week again. This time, he didn’t worry as much since Taka had informed him through text that he was finding a new job that had a better pay despite lesser working hours. Toru doesn’t know what Taka was working as and he was excited to hear about it as he patiently waited for Taka to pick up his call.

“Good morning Toru!”

Toru smiled in return, moving his cursor around and making slow circles around Taka’s face. From Taka’s side, he admired his boyfriend’s fresh shower look. Toru’s head rested on one of his hands.

“How’s your new job?” The guitarist asked. He sat up straight, failing to hide his anticipation.

“So far so good, a little tiring, but i’ll get used to it…”

Toru nodded. “But what are you working as?”

Taka shifted in his seat and avoided Toru’s eyes. Thankfully, it wasn’t that obvious through the screen and if they were both in one room, Toru would have definitely sensed that something was wrong. “Waiter… at a cafe.”

Toru noticed the hesitation in his voice, but didn’t think too much about it. Later on, he figured out that he should have. Their calls have been so often, yet Taka seemed so tired. The smaller man would opt for voice call instead of video call and Toru can’t help but imagine how exhausted Taka looks, judging by his voice. Sometimes, Toru could even hear his voice shake and how raspy his voice sounded, as if he had just finished crying. Like a bad boyfriend he is, he never asked. He was scared that it would upset Taka.

It went on for a few weeks, until Taka finally allowed Toru to video call. The guitarist’s heart sank. Taka looked weak. Even through the low quality video, it was obvious that his usual handsome boyfriend had turned into a mess.

“Are… are you okay?”

Taka nodded and tore his eyes away from Toru. He regrets picking up Toru’s call but if he didn’t, Toru will find out. If Toru finds out, they will surely break up.

“Babe, those dark circles says otherwise.” Toru remarked.

Toru was always attentive, even to the smallest details. It was a good and a bad thing. When Taka wanted to be comforted, Toru was there for him. He didn’t have to say or hint anything to him. Toru noticed right away. However, lying was something Taka could only dream of doing. He had to be really careful around his boyfriend, especially this time. If he slips, Toru will leave him. He will reduce to nothing without Toru. A trash. Maybe he doesn’t even want to exist anymore if Toru dumps him.

“Taka?” Toru called, snapping him out of his own thoughts.

He stared at Toru’s concerned face. He’s perfect. Too perfect for Taka. He remembers the first time they hung out. Taka just dropped out of school and Toru, being the busybody classmate he is, stalked Taka at his workplace just to ask him why he quit. Taka should have been annoyed at the teenager for being such a nosy person, but he stared at the taller boy’s face that showed concern for Taka, understanding that it wasn't normal for a 17 year old to quit school halfway just like that. It looked genuine, and it was the first time anybody showed care for him.

Taka opened up to him and told him about how he ran away from home and that he got disowned. Hence, the job. He was living with his grandmother but he was planning on moving into a small apartment by himself. Ever since that day, they hung out almost everyday. Toru made his life better and he was so thankful for him. Taka could not think of any way to repay him.

Just like other days, Taka had to end their call first. His eyelids felt heavy and he wanted to sleep. He was spent from his job earlier and in addition to that, he couldn’t help but feel negative emotions consuming him tonight. He cannot stand another minute looking at Toru anymore without feeling like he needed to throw up from all the guilt and worry.

“I have to go… Thanks for calling and I love you. Be safe okay?”

“I will, you too. Goodnight Taka, I love you.” Toru promised with a weak smile before the call ended.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taka's new job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! This chapter contains a bit of smut!

The man couldn’t hold back anymore as he slammed himself into Taka’s prostate. He pulled out and ripped the condom off. Moving up to Taka’s face and forcing the other to suck him. He thrusts into Taka’s mouth. He felt his stomach tighten and pulled out, letting his cum spurt out onto Taka’s face and hair. 

The young man was too tired to clean them up properly and let himself fall onto the bed, beside Takahiro.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” the man in his late twenties said, gently brushing his fingertip down the bruises around Taka’s neck.

It was a compliment, yet it didn't make him feel good. It didn’t come from Toru’s mouth. Toru always called him beautiful and he loved it. It made him feel pretty, appreciated. Far from feeling disgusting and ashamed. 

The man handed him a wet towel, in which he wiped his face with. Once the man leaves, he’s going to wash his face thoroughly, wanting so much to get rid of the gunk on his face. 

The man took out and tossed Taka the money onto the bed before making his way into the shower. Taka sighed, counting the bank notes and shoving the money in his pocket before dropping his shorts back onto the floor. He rolled onto his back again and shut his eyes. 

How much longer does he have to do this? Is it all worth it?

His fingers traced along the bruises that decorated his neck. 

_ No hickeys.  _ That was what he told them. The only rule he made clear of since the beginning. Yet no one ever listened. No one had a tiny bit of respect for him. When he first started out, he was confident that his clients would respect his rules. Taka is a stubborn man, things always have to be the way he wanted it to be. Or so he thought.

Why would they? In the end, he was just a whore. They would just slap a huge tip to make up for it. Taka didn’t want tips. He needed the money, but he also doesn’t want his boyfriend to see the hickeys.

“ _ Shit _ .”

Toru wants to video call tonight.

Taka snatched his phone from the bedside table and opened up his chat with Toru. Guilt consumed him the longer he stared at Toru’s last message, telling him that he couldn’t wait to see Taka. Taka really didn’t want his boyfriend to suspect or know that he had been sleeping with other men so he convinced himself that this was alright. He was going to make sure that this is the last time he’s skipping their Skype date.

_ ‘I’m sorry babe, I can’t call you tonight, I took over someone’s shift.’ _

He waited for a while, listening to the white noise from the shower. He read his text over and over again and almost fell asleep when his phone dinged, signalling that his boyfriend had replied.

_ ‘ok.’  _

It was simple. Not even an ‘I love you’. Cold. It made Taka hate himself even more on the inside. He groaned, covering his eyes with his sweaty arm. What mess had he gotten himself into? This wasn’t the first time he did something so stupid and before, Toru always forgave him. This time, if Toru found out about his actual job, he’d definitely dump him. His client emerged out of the shower and made his way towards the bed, fully dressed. 

“Wanna go grab something to eat? I’ll send you home after.” the man offered, giving Taka a warm smile. Something new and unlike all his previous customers, harsh and aloof.

That’s how he ended up sleeping with the man more often that he should. He became a regular client that Taka couldn’t refuse. Maybe it was because the man was around his age and that it felt safer to work with him. He was stressed out over his broken relationship with Toru and the man provided Taka a little bit of distraction from it by bringing him out for dinner after every time they fucked. 

As weeks passed by, Taka got extremely exhausted. He felt like he couldn’t do it anymore. His body ached and he felt sore, but he thought about the money he was going to make. He must endure lying to Toru a little longer until he finds a new job. Taka didn’t want to make his boyfriend upset anymore but this is the only option he’s got. In a few months or sooner, everything will be okay. He will be working a normal job and Toru doesn’t have to know about this.

It was like a daily routine. Taka would sit in his room a couple hours before Toru calls. Blinking back his tears, if he could. On some days, he lets it all out. His ringtone would interrupt his breakdown session and before he picks up, he would try to even his breathing and stop the flow of the tears. He prayed that Toru would not be able to see him through the blurry video.

_ “Fuck, babe. You look like shit.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me... I have a massive writers block D: You can imagine the mystery man to be whoever you want it to be, I didn't really have anyone in mind so I only described the age. I'll edit this chapter later.

**Author's Note:**

> Another bad fic from me!  
> I wanted this to be a one shot, but I would like to gather some feedback before I post another chapter! I am quite new to writing, so I can't explain things well, I am really trying to improve, so point out any mistakes you see!  
> : Can you guess what Taka is hiding from Toru?


End file.
